Some functions also don’t have any parentheses, like field access or infix operators.
You call things the way they were defined. Problem solved.
I'm kinda confused, because this is the second time now where your attempt at making a counter argument is actively supporting my point. Is this intentional at your part?
We could follow this line of thinking further ...
No we don't. If your point relies on Turing-tarpitting the whole discussion ... then you have no point.
I think the article suffers a bit from not being up to date in regard to the work Java has done with virtual threads.
There quite a few assumptions being made in the article that would not have been questioned a few years ago, but now these assumptions feel quite unfounded and all the conclusions based on them stand on shaky ground.