My impression of lemmy changed a lot once I've read this updated from the lemmy devs from less than a month ago. TL;DR: Lemmy was developed by just two people and with reddit self-destructing everyone jumped to it, and lemmy wasn't really ready for that.
With that info I'm now all the more impressed that lemmy is working as well as it currently is and not crashing every few minutes!
I like this idea, I've been thinking about running my own private instance but decided against it as I like the main feed with many different communities that larger instances offer.