This seems a bit extreme to me. I have services exposed to the Internet, with reverse proxy and auth.
An alethiometer is a fictional device which appears in Philip Pullman’s fantasy series, His Dark Materials. The device bears a superficial resemblance to a compass, and is used to answer questions asked of it, albeit in a rather cryptic manner.
Just to go against the grain here, fuck Cloudflare. They are too big a part of the internet already. I would never use them.
To add to this, I'm pretty sure throwing it at the backboard would count as losing possession, so you could dribble again afterwards.
Who ever said Fred Flintstone was a loser?