I don’t think the problem is as severe or systemic as you’re making it out to be. I think if the individual you’re speaking to lashes out at the mention of you being a man, then that individual is an asshole and that’s just kinda the end of it.

I think the problem here is that there is a tendency to support your own team so to speak and oppose the other team that gets used to justify being an asshole and turns into a dogpile. Or birds of a feather flock together maybe. Either way the voices of those people get amplified and shout down anyone who disagrees.

Take the CEO of the onion dating a woman running for a position in the House of Representatives, the loudest voices were just being dismissive of the idea that that should be anyone's business or that either of them would ever do anything unethical with that relationship or that satire isn't journalism and the CEO can't have influence over anyone.

which holy shit if a politician on the right was dating the CEO of a right wing company people would be really upset, and there were plenty of people pointing this out or that the same standards should apply regardless of party and not calling for any consequences either, but then getting told that they're really just trolls who want her to not run for office because the social hivemind on the left loves to find the worst examples of people and then say that anyone who agrees with a base opinion they hold must be the same as those people.

which drives me fucking nuts because it's exactly what the right does but they do it to the left while the left does it to their own fucking base whether it be about applications of ethics or gender stuff