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NPa [he/him]

@ NPa @hexbear.net

Posts
2
Comments
267
Joined
6 yr. ago

  • the CIA hit him with the slippery floor gun (it's just a bucket)

  • The North Korean Army doesn't have trucks or trains, so they have to march across Russia on foot

  • probably thinks it was Bin Laden

  • finally the last person on earth, Netanyahu breathes a sigh of relief - now he can relax. He feels the barrel of a gun press into his back. Bibi turns around - it's a second Bibi

  • A second, bigger Empire has shown up to shoot down known terrorist Luke Skywalker and a squadron of illegal X-wing fighters. Reportedly the terrorist group was attempting to sabotage the newly built Tactical Defensive Moonlet (only used for defensive planetary disintegration)

    • Coruscant Times

    Grand Emperor Bai-Den reportedly 'very displeased' with Emperor Palpatine, urges the Empire to stop blowing up planets within 6-8 years or he'll be 'big mad'.

    • Outer Rim Gazette

    The Grand Emperor allocates 800 quintillion credits in military aid to Palpatine.

    • Galaxy Central News Network
  • Survives three assassination attempts, instantly dies from working a single minimum wage shift

  • talking about "dark forces" or "mørke kræfter" is such a dog-whistle too. like one step removed from ranting about the islamobolshevik menace trying to undermine our glorious reich

    i love our moderate social democrats they are so cool and socialist

  • oh right, I think I actually watched that one a few years back. Guess my brain just decided Peterson's ideas weren't worth keeping rofl

  • raw shallots in uneven chunks, mushy quinoa and random asparagus (way out of season)

    literally looks like tylers bullshit from the menu

    seriously can't get over how poorly those shallots are cut

  • Tom Hanks' "Big" if the kid had been an apartheid-emerald nepo-baby

  • ok but this one slaps:

    also are the 12 rules really this stupid and meaningless? "Don't let your children do anything that makes you dislike them." like wtf does that mean? "Do not bother children when they are skateboarding" ???? "be precise in your speech" yeah sure

  • yeah we'd love to pass this single payer thing but the parliamentarian is just going nuts with a pair of metal nun chucks in there

  • The only thing that can stop a rogue state on a rampage is another rogue state. We should give DPRK peacekeepers full authority to demilitarize "Israel".

  • i dunno dawg, people like Grusch are talking about 'extradimensional' beings now, it's getting very silly

    anytime I hear an interview with one of these modern ufology guys1 (who are always alarmingly close to the US military or intelligence and for some reason brag about it?) it's all bluster and technobabble with plenty of appeals to authority like: "this one guy is a scientist, so when he says UFO's are real, they must be!" or "this active psyops officer told me that the US definitely has super secret alien tech"

    some of the declassified videos are a bit funky, but honestly I think it's more likely that a blob moving at physics-defying speeds is actually just a camera artefact, an illusion or an insect, than actually breaking the laws of physics.

    1 Luis Elizondo is formerly Army Intelligence, David Grusch is USAF intelligence, Tom DeLonge is running an org called To The Stars Academy which receives funding from and works with the US military and was literally founded by Jim Semivan, ex CIA, Avi Loeb got his start in science through the IDF Talpiot program (but at least he's doing some real science sometimes), etc etc

  • and if you want that in normal numbers instead of freedom units, a good guideline is 2% salt in bakers percentages, meaning 2% of the dry weight (so a loaf made with 500 grams of flour would need 10 grams of salt)

  • Pictured above: The entire Estonian Army

  • "Let's assume, for the sake of the argument, hypothetically, that I am a pig pooping on my own balls. How much turd would land on my testicles? Now multiply that by 5 to the fifth power (to account for my very large butthole) , and that's how much dung actually rests on my dong."

  • the_dunk_tank @hexbear.net

    Liberal techno-fascists are utterly deranged

  • memes @hexbear.net

    Didn't expect SMBC to get our asses like this