You’re right, but I’ve found that men absolutely hate this argument. They hate hearing “I don’t trust you”. They think good people deserve trust and they completely refuse to see from your perspective that you don’t know if they’re good people yet, and think having to earn your trust is unfair.
Here’s the truth, guys. Women generally lack the desire or capability to sexually assault other women. When we get assaulted it’s by men, almost always. We don’t have to distrust women for our own protection. If men would stop assaulting us, we would find it easier to trust random guys… but they just won’t fucking stop. You cannot explain your point of view or how unfair it is to you in a way that will change our minds. The only way to get women to stop being afraid of you is to get men to stop assaulting us.
A real solution: make men afraid to assault women. Make it so taboo they would never consider it. Express horror and disgust at the merest suggestion of it. Punish it decisively. Don’t give the benefit of the doubt.
It would have to be unfair as hell and would ruin a lot of men’s lives but I think it would eventually fix our fucked up culture. Once men stop sexually assaulting people so much they’ll be less scary.