i am quite comfortable with just being unlabeled and i guess agender/non binary in my experience, but the problem is society is constantly putting me into a box (i must be a woman since i have a feminine voice) and i almost always end up trying to do something to change their viewpoint of me out of dysphoria. this means my gender expression is probably masculine because it shuts up people and the voices in my head more than femininity. i also just dislike the superficiality i see with a lot of feminine things. i've always yearned to be part of the guys as well, so i guess it all mixed together and formed this inherent need for masculinity when i'm constantly perceived as feminine. but now that i AM masculine, i feel like i have to stick to being masculine all the time, which isn't making my core happy and reminding me i have attachments to femininity.
demigenderflux? partially non binary/agender, partially masc/fem and the intensity of these feelings change? ahhhh idk what to do (i feel like i need a label to just stop the confusion, ironic as it is)
absolutely poetic words, thank you. i didn't mention this is in the original post, but i just got an autism evaluation and came out with a maybe. he said come back after a year. i think he leans in favor of autism, but there's a lot of factors in my current life that are a mess and could muddle that. perhaps that could be the reason gender seems out of the question when talking about souls?
LOL i prolly do need therapy for my childhood. dw i got one, and i think (?) she's supportive? ill find out when next appointment. today's was js an intro type thing
Thank you; you're so sweet! The best thing I can do for myself is to buzz my hair off and start anew. I already have the appointment set up for Tuesday, so hopefully I'll begin the first step to a gradual transition like you mentioned. I think explaining this and coming out of the closet (with the assistance of a therapist) will help her allow me to be more open with myself. The appointment consultation for the therapist is tomorrow. I'm well aware of what happens when you wait too long (watched I saw the tv glow and cried). I don't want to wait any longer. I'm hyped too!
I thought the same thing, that I could have autism and ADHD combined, and that it simply masked symptoms from both sides. But this was during a manic episode, so I don't know how much of that was actually credible.
I don't know how to feel about the autism thing T_T
I don't feel like I have enough of the criteria to be autistic, but damn it could explain some things. I don't know. We'll see I guess!
About the white hair part, I have something akin to 1c/2a, and my hair genuinely just gets oily and sometimes dandruffy after the first day. How are you able to extend it to a week?!
That sounds like the exfoliating gloves we have here in the States. I don't use anything other than my hands for the sake of hygiene (can't stand the idea of being washed with potential bacteria/oil/dead skin cells), but a simple rag that I chuck into a washing machine on a sanitizing cycle would probably be effective. Thanks for the idea!
Damn, the JBL one? I was thinking about getting that for snowboarding anyway LOL. I've never really tried an audiobook, but if I end up getting a JBL, it's worth a shot I guess!
Thanks, but I can't shower that little, since I'm still 16 and going through puberty (BO smells like death for me), and my hair is very oily regardless of dry shampoo (that can only push it a day). I have a bidet and use it regularly. I find it too uncomfortable to use beyond cleaning after no. 2.
I am making an appointment currently to buzz my hair off, so the added 10 minutes of pampering my hair will soon be gone (THANK THE SKY!). I'll add a shower chair to my list of things to get (I already shower in a bathtub anyway); hopefully I'll accumulate enough points to afford it quicker. Cold seems like a good idea, just need to get over the barrier of making myself actually do it lol.
The deodorant I'm using is weaker than the other brand I've tried, but it works well enough for daily use. I could stink, or could not stink. I don't know. That's what bothers me most—I genuinely can't tell if I stink or not. I just use external cues like oily hair and certain "feelings."
I may or may not be autistic. We don't know, so I could just be anxious and have it not be an autism thing.
Hm, that's interesting. Usually natural fibers are preferred for breathability and odor control, so I'm curious about how a (probably) synthetic fabric would combat against odor.
i am quite comfortable with just being unlabeled and i guess agender/non binary in my experience, but the problem is society is constantly putting me into a box (i must be a woman since i have a feminine voice) and i almost always end up trying to do something to change their viewpoint of me out of dysphoria. this means my gender expression is probably masculine because it shuts up people and the voices in my head more than femininity. i also just dislike the superficiality i see with a lot of feminine things. i've always yearned to be part of the guys as well, so i guess it all mixed together and formed this inherent need for masculinity when i'm constantly perceived as feminine. but now that i AM masculine, i feel like i have to stick to being masculine all the time, which isn't making my core happy and reminding me i have attachments to femininity.
demigenderflux? partially non binary/agender, partially masc/fem and the intensity of these feelings change? ahhhh idk what to do (i feel like i need a label to just stop the confusion, ironic as it is)