Madzielle

@ Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

Posts

36
Comments

1469
Joined

2 yr. ago

Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com 20h ago

just had a brush with ideation because I feel like a shit mom, always fun. Was reading articles on his disorder just now cuz he got in trouble again.

it breaks my heart.

tomorrow is another day, and life is a forever transition.

oh and also agree with the other commentors, youre a part of our comminity, you cannot leave us!

20h ago

Do you have a "village"?

Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com 20h ago

the hired therapy help. thats the villiage. better than nothing.

1d ago

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I dont go hiking because of laziness. I no longer have a car to get anywhere.

good shit for your bassist inspo, thats dope!

1d ago

New research shows weight loss is possible without GLP-1

To me New England has no excuse. Where I live, measured directly, my fav grocer is .6miles from my house. Tell me why I have to take the higgway, jist for one exit, to get there. Walmart and Aldi are basically across the street, and yet, it is not walkable. the road you must cross is 5 lanes and 45mph which is exceeded as if the road is a highway.

If Mcdonalds can tear down, AND rebuild their stupid store in 6mos for no other reason to make it a grey box, I think our local civic engineers can do better.

Maybe out west will be hard, but New England literally has no excuse. The attempts at bike lanes ive seen in CT are fucking laughable. Its like they are trying to make it so people dont use them.

1d ago

Mamdani supports biking in NYC

Yeah that almost had me cry, freaking fantasitc

1d ago

Mamdani supports biking in NYC

beautiful

1d ago

She is innocent!

This is why he is theif

1d ago

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probably a good idea lmao

1d ago

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I dont play my bass hardly anymore. My hands got bad, and idk. Used to play for hours each day, and now I pick it up twice a year.

Used to hike twice a week at least too, but I havnt gone in years at this point.

I do, yes, feel like im dying. Been putting music on while im home alone more often, its helping a bit, least ive started to dance again.

1d ago

New research shows weight loss is possible without GLP-1

walking and biking for evertday errands make a big impact too.

2d ago

I tie my happiness to the company of strange men.

Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com 2d ago

Big hugs, you got this

2d ago

I tie my happiness to the company of strange men.

Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com 2d ago

Theres a sappy old movie called Under the tuscan sun. In the film a divorced woman moves to italy. She tries to find love and connection and it fails, over and over. She wanted another wedding, children, a few other things. By the end of the film, she realizes, she helps bring the community together, a young couple meet and fall and love while working on her home, so she gets a wedding, its just not hers, but the couple could have never met if she didnt hire help to fix her home. Her best friend adopts a baby, and I think, ends up moving in because her relationship failed, so she doesnt have her own baby, but will be helping her friend raise a child. There were a few more things like this. Nothing went how she thought it would, and yet, she still sees all she wants in the community she is apart of. She may not be the center, but she is no less important. Its a beautiful way to reframe life in this way.

If you dont have anyone to care for, you must care for yourself right? Finding love in ways you dont expect, can be of some relief I find. To reframe jelousey to joy for others, I imagine, would take some work. A worthy endevour that could relieve suffering. Loneliness sucks, massively. I hope you are doing okay today. Love yourself, cherish yourself. I appreciate you sharing this.

3d ago

Tell me about a time you "had to" martyr/sacrifice an unwilling other person unilaterally so you might continue on?

brutal

3d ago

Tell me about a time you "had to" martyr/sacrifice an unwilling other person unilaterally so you might continue on?

does cutting off my mother and never speaking to her again count?

3d ago

I hear there are women out there who are attracted to disappointment

omg same. its definately done the same for me too, went from getting better to coping through it. It could be this way, because, ehem, we did get better. There is no beacon of perfection to reach. It really is just coping until we die. Hopefully some good moments are sprinkled in.

And honestly, with family, the day it dawned on me I could let my mother go- was like liberation. I didnt need her, for anything, and just, never spoke to her again. A sister of mine took longer to let go, but same thing. They will never be satisfied with you you are. People like that will always find something to nitpick. Im not gonna tell you what to do, cept dont pay no mind to people who dont have your back, theyll drown you if they could. I could do nothing right in my mothers eyes, and I was young and making some mistakes. However, instead of supporting me, or trying to guide me, she talked shit about me to the family, so they hated me too. After I got my shit together, and I was objectivly proud of myself, she still, still had horrible things to say. So fuck that. click, done, mute, block. The mean voice in the back of my head isnt so loud anymore.

I havnt read all ur comment, Ill write more later.

Just, we all need encouragement. We need it.

I, well I was homeless with a newborn for about five months. In that time, I saw a lot of doctors and social support workers. All the time, they would tell me, how good of a job I was doing at being a mom. I always rolled my eyes, thinking, they probably say that to everyone and it is just a curtisey. and maybe, but once I was settled and looked back, those kind words are what held me together in that time. No one was kind to me, but these strangers were so encouraging. And sometimes thats all a person needs.

Be proud of yourself.

3d ago

I hear there are women out there who are attracted to disappointment

I just woke up and skimmed this, and no youre not allowed to acknowledge.. (honestly eye roll) how pathetic you are. I been feeling a little pathetic myself too lately, but I dont thrust that out into the open.

why do you feel "pathetic", specifically? dont tell me, tell yourself, and then work on mitigating it, or accepting those things about yourself.

DONT PLEASE PEOPLE, PLEASE YOURSELF (haha not like that) but i mean do things for yourself not others. Confidence isnt "to get something, or to impress someone" confedence is not hating yourself, carrying healthly self esteem and knowing yourself well.

so, adding to the list, stop the neg. self talk, and, reconize you might have some low self esteem here. Reads this way anyway.

"someone (who I ask, do not hang with assholes) will call me arrogant if I show confidence, because I have nothing to be confident about". If someone does this its called a them problem, not a you problem. Were you being arrogant in that moment? you really dont think so? maybe you were? perhaps you didnt mean to? "im sorry that wasnt my intention". And then avoid name callers? idk, Im tired.

youre being a goofball and really should learn what you like about yourself, and lean into that. Set those boundaries to a larger parameter because what the hey man- you mine as well stand there with a knife faced inward when you talk about yourself this way

my family were my first bullies, we ignore bullies, whoever called you pathetic growing up was a weak little liar putting a child down, they sound pathetic, and why not care for those wounds eh? sorry yeah, healing takes years and struggle will always be present, but how you handle that struggle internally, without blaming and critizing yourself, that will make a difference. most outward human "failures", like not hitting life benchmarks or whatever, are systemic anyway. feel good bout urself despite them. take a break, but youll be "trying" til your dead, so enjoy that ;) haha but this is life. Without stuggle there are no wins and everyone "loses" sometimes. Im losing the game of life right now myself. Id rather call it reaching a transitory stage... but, acceptence and komorebi at my side, it will pass. Just because I feel like a loser right now, doesnt mean thats who I am at my core. I feel pathetic I cant quit tobacco, but, im still not pathetic at my core, I know this.

youre not pathetic, my cat begging for treats is pathetic, adults who put down young people down are pathetic, unless you yourself are being a cunt to everyone around you for no fucking reason and telling some kid theyll never amount to nothing, pretty certain youre redeemable and fine, my ignorence tends to believe most people are redeemable. Life sucks and beats the shit out of most, lets not let it win. set the boundary parameter wider, and stop calling yourself pathetic. Last couple years youve made progress? yeah? that is dope! look how much youve done! I bet it hasnt been an easy road! That is not pathetic mate. So why the fuck you out here lying, telling folks youre pathetic when youve already come so far?

4d ago

I hear there are women out there who are attracted to disappointment

Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com 4d ago

I have cronic depression too.

Better to say nothing then, or even to be an incincere positive is infact better. Least you tried in that case. One thing I was taught, that helps, is to stop all negative self talk, both outloud and in my head, as soon as I realize I am doing it. example: "Im so fucking stupid" Wait, I am not stupid "actually, I made a mistake and I feel embarrassed". Reframe. The second statement is more honest anyway.

I was reluctant to try this at first because it seems foolish, but after making an effort, it, um, helps, a lot more than I thought.

Could you try that? Nix the neg. self talk?

You did it just now here, "...women really found pathetic men attractive I would be a total catch". Stop that shit, there is literally no point in calling yourself pathetic except to self harm ur psyche. So, could you please, work on calling yourself out for it? Quit negative self talk, and maybe you can be funny again like the rest of us depressed folk.

as for the meme, mad people play pick up basket ball. We dont know if the person in the post was on an offical team or not.

4d ago

I hear there are women out there who are attracted to disappointment